I couldn’t wear yellow today or anything for suicide awareness day because I had to work. But since tomorrow it happens all over again on the otherside of the world, I reserve the right to do my duty tomorrow. And since I’ll be in Joadja doing Hazard Reductions for this awesome summer that is upon us, I won’t have a problem finding something yellow.
On a different note, I have something to say.
My friends are my family. Most people don’t realise what I mean by that when I say it. I mean basically that they are my world.
My mother had me quite late in life, to a different father than my siblings. When I was born my brother and sister were 11 years + older than me. All my cousins were older than them. I bascially grew up with no one my own age, as a result I matured very fast, I learnt how shit the world could be at a very early age. I don’t get along with my mother at all and I still don’t, even when I was a kid I always had this thought that I was adopted, I knew I couldn’t be though because despite looking nothing like her, I am the spitting image of my father. I was really close with him, then when I was 14 he skipped the country. The only person I felt like I had, left me. He left me long before he physically left, I actually wanted him to go because he wasn’t the same person anymore. So I was never really bothered by it.
The point I’m trying to make is that my friends are the family I didn’t feel I had. These are the people who I, despite everything, get along with. These are people I got to choose to have in my life, the people I want in my life more than anyone else. So when you think of how much you care for your family, that is almost a smidgeon of how much I care about my friends.
They are my family.
I tell my work mates that so and so is my little brother and so and so share’s a soul with me basically. And it’s cause they are and they do.
So when one of them hurts me in a big way. I don’t know what to do.
I feel like I’m the only one with the power to make the decision on what happens from that moment on. And that means the only person who can decide what happens, has no idea what to do.
It’s all up to me and I’m so fucking lost right now.
Is it just me or id Tumblr change again?
Not feeling so hot this morning.
Really hope it passes. I gotta drive and I gotta work and I got plans dammit!
Can’t wait to get this mother fucker off sarv. It’s driving me crazy.
22th August 2012
So everything that was slightly stressful is coming along nicely.
Tickets for America are bought, paid for and in my possession.
Money for America has started happening (didn’t know your 5’s and 50’s were partly pink).
Passport is in the works. Kinda.
My boss approved my leave. :D
My other boss isn’t a worry since I’ll be leaving that job soon. :D :D
Now I just gotta focus on getting powerpoint adapters. And tell my brigade I won’t be available for 5 weeks.
7th August 6:36pm
Meatloaf, Moscato and Stroganoff.
This night would be perfect if only I didn’t have to enter the cold abyss that is the outdoors tonight to go to training.
Drinking like half a bottle of Moscato before I go to training.
I swear to God if I manage to get booked between my house and the station (like 100m down the road) I will just neck myself there and then.
Just casually sitting at Jerra’s computer reblogging shit.
He is currently out cold in his bed next to me.
And I’m being all classy and hygenic by coughing my phlegm into a used cup on his desk.
Seriously guys I wouldn’t make it to a bathroom in time so don’t judge me.
This day can’t get anymore fucked up.
The life of a firefighter.
Seriously fuck people and their lack of respect for the whole point of a TOTAL FIRE BAN!
They don’t seem to understand that even burning a 3x3x3ft pile of leaves is still illegal. Yes you will get fined for it if you don’t have permit. Yes it will cost you up to $2000 for being a shitty human.
Like I’m just casually sitting here coughing up my lungs cause I’m ill as fuck and next minute I’m running out of my house with the impression that someone’s house is about to burn down. But no, it’s just you shitty people with your shitty pile burns.